by LISA SCOTT
For centuries, professors, scientists, doctors and researchers have devoted their lives to finding out what makes us tick sexually. In the past few weeks alone, psychologists have claimed that our facial features reveal our attitude to one-night stands and that depressed women have more s*x than happy ones in a bid to seek fulfilment.
Researcher and author Mary Roach took a closer look at the laboratories, brothels and, er, pig farms, that feature in such findings. She discovered s*x research is a necessity and that, regardless of how advanced medical science is, we still know little about some of the basic mechanics of human sexuality.
The first thing Roach makes clear is that s*x researchers aren't weird. 'Most people think they are all perverts,' she says. 'Sorry to disappoint but they're all very nice, normal people.'
Essential function
Renowned s*x psychologist Professor Stuart Brody says s*x research helps both scientists and us 'normal' beings. 's*x, along with sleeping and eating, is one of the essential functions for all animals,' he explains. 's*x has been under-studied compared to other basic biological processes but is related to many functions, including stress management, disease and personality.'
So, s*x research helps the world go round and s*x researchers aren't freaks. But what about people who agree to be part of the research? Roach, who put her findings into a book, Bonk: The Curious Coupling Of s*x And Science (Canongate, £12.99), found one study where total strangers met and had s*x.
'They had every type of s*x you could imagine – including anal,' she almost whispers. 'Who the hell does that? It was the 1970s – everyone was a lot more comfortable about s*x then. They probably enjoyed s*x and got off on being watched.'
Guinea pig
The study didn't put her off, though, and Roach agreed to become a guinea pig herself, in the name of research. She had s*x – not with a stranger but with her husband – in front of the University of London's Dr Jing Deng who was investigating a new technique that aimed to reveal more about how body parts worked during s*x.
'It was a slightly awkward,' she admits. 'Particularly because Dr Deng was holding a wand on my belly, like in a fetal ultrasound, and I was taking notes. It was impossible to be aroused with a guy in a white coat in the room.'
Tracey Cox, one of the country's top s*x and relationship experts, has also had her fair share of embarrassing situations in the name of research.
'During filming of The s*x Inspectors, I viewed hours of recorded footage of couples having s*x. It's not often you meet someone knowing what their orgasm face looks like. 'They would offer us tea but we all knew : “Could you pass the biscuits?” would become: “So, how's the tongue pressure on your clitoris when your partner gives you oral s*x?”
One of Roach's most surprising sexual discoveries was a study by a doctor, Meredith Chivers: 'She found that women are aroused by any sexual activity, even if the film showed gay men or bonobo apes having s*x. Men only responded to straight s*x or naked women. It's fascinating – the common perception is the other way around.'
Although Roach's travels took her to the office of a 73-year-old Egyptian doctor who uses prostitutes for his research and into a surgery to witness a penile implant, she is still scratching her head over one mystery. 'Why is the clitoris so far away from the vagina? What the hell is it doing all the way over there?' she asks loudly. 'Pigs have their clitoris in their vagina – now that makes sense.
Roach's Weird World
She travelled to a pig farm in Denmark and watched three men sexually stimulate sows before artificially inseminating them – apparently, pleasure leads to a six per cent improvement in fertility.
She found a study where women had s*x with a thrusting mechanical penis-camera that filmed, from the inside, their physical response.



